Trish Writes

WELCOME TO I BELIEVE IN YOU!

Like the balloons on this page, it has taken me a couple of years to float back into a new and much different routine after leaving thirty + years as a teacher and a school principal in three states. As a teacher and a school principal my days were long and scheduled.

No mistake, I am loving the opportunities that lay in my path in the autumn of my life and feel blessed. Yet, a compelling urge to shout to the clouds the gems that I learned from the experiences that came my way about what it takes to grow a great kid has become very powerful. The lives of kids depend upon it. Every adult should be aware of what it takes to grow a great kid because it is not always intuitive. The proverbial instructions do not come attached to the umbilical cord.

During my career, I worked in schools that served students and families from communities that were in grave economic need. I also taught and lead schools that were in affluent neighborhoods . . . and many in between.  Throughout those years, one theme has always hung true and strong: HIGH EXPECTATIONS MAKE A DIFFERENCE. When we know and show our children that they can be successful, without exception, the results are remarkable.  In my new blog that will appear twice weekly, you will discover ideas, suggestions and action steps that adults can take to make a difference in the lives of young people. You can have a powerful impact on the future by starting with our most precious resource, our children.

I hope you will be a regular visitor and perhaps share your stories if you are so inclined. Together, we can build a better world – even if it is just one kid – your kid, your student, a relative, a neighbor – at a time.

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”     ~ anonymous ~

On May 4, 1961, 436 people risked their lives to fight for human equality, and against racial discrimination, in the deep south. They were called the FREEDOM RIDERS, because they boarded buses in our nation’s capitol, Washington, D.C., and rode to New Orleans,  to proclaim the solidarity of their union for the FREEDOM for all races. By their courageous actions, they pronounced their opposition to the Jim Crow laws that separated races and denigrated black Americans to separate restrooms, restaurants, seating on buses and public arenas.

Fortunately, last week a friend called to tell me that Oprah was televising a commemoration of the fiftieth anniversary of the historic event.  We taped the hour-long special, and later sat in awe, captured in the horror of what some Americans did to their own people. The documentary showed how mostly college students, and some older adults - both black and white - united together in support of equal rights and freedom.  Tears filled my eyes as I watched people in the southern cities of Alabama and Mississippi beat the FREEDOM RIDERS with clubs, sticks and other weapons. We saw members of the Ku Klux Klan organization, who were blind supporters of the segregationist laws that prevailed, viciously attack,  maim and even take the lives of many of those on the buses.

An Alabama teacher I know who sheltered and offered food to many of the FREEDOM RIDERS, saw the pain and suffering they experienced.  “If it wasn’t for these people, the Civil Rights legislation that came from Martin Luther King’s march  may never been born,” she said. “Those folks suffered plenty, but it was for an important cause and it made a difference.”

As I noted in last week’s post:  “Never believe that a few caring people cannot change the world . . . that is all who ever have.”    Margaret Mead, anthropologist.

By taking a stand and modeling courage to follow the Character Traits we have been looking at over these past weeks, we can all make a difference in our children – even if only in small ways.

How have you or someone you know made a difference in your life or the life of another by their courage?

 ”Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world. . . that is all who ever  have.”                            

  ~ Margaret Mead, American Anthropologist ~

No parent ever said, “I don’t want my child to grow into caring human being.” Placing value on caring for other people is something we all want for our children. We also want them to care for all life, property, and our global environment. Over the past few decades, especially, we have become more aware of our responsibility to the future well being of our earth.

We know that example through our words and actions speaks volumes to children and shows them what significant adult(s) in their lives believe is important; and, what they will internalize and follow. Many of us may not have grown with the most relevant and comprehensive examples of how to care for life and our global environment. Now, however, we can address elements of caring that need to be taught, while taking specific steps that will teach children the behaviors we want them to model. Below are some ways you can help teach your child about the character trait and major pillar, CARING.

• Caring for self: By providing healthy meals, minimizing sweets, carbonated drinks, salts and unhealthy fats, we teach our children that our body is a temple and we are in charge of caring for it to the best of our ability. Along with healthy eating, other habits such as exercise, cleanliness and order teach children personal care.

• Caring for the needs of others: By attending to the emotional needs of children, we show them we care for their feelings. When we see others upset, we can model good listening, emotional support and help to ease the personal pain of another. We should identify the actions and tell the child what we are doing and why it is important as well. The child will then become aware of what it means to support and care for another person’s feelings.

• Caring for those less fortunate: By participating in food drives for the hungry, donating used toys to needy shelters (perhaps a toy-cleaning day quarterly), and saving a part of allowance money earned to give to a favorite charity can be incorporated into a family routine. Volunteering as a family – perhaps to give time to work in food kitchen – is a fantastic way to model helping those in need.

• Caring for life: By having children take responsibility for pets and plants, they learn the need to care for all living things. If you do not have any pets, perhaps your child can interact with the pet of a friend or family member to teach them how to be gentle and caring.

• Caring for the environment: By making sure waste and debris are picked up, children learn environmental care. Through awareness of the amount of water and electricity being used at home, they learn environmental conservation. It is through the example of the adults who are significant in their lives that kids learn that the earth is our home and that it is important to take care of it for the future.

Raising caring kids is something that requires awareness on the part of adults in that magical sphere of influence. By considering these steps, parents, grandparents, teachers and all significant adults can guide children toward becoming caring adults.

What ideas can you share that have helped you teach some element of CARING to a child? Did you experience a caring family life when you were growing up? What did you learn from your parents/family/teachers/significant adults that taught you be a more caring person?

I had a nightmare last week. The kind where you awake in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat. Fortunately, after a few moments, I happily realized it wasn’t true-to-life and breathed a sigh of relief. We have all had a bad dream experience at one time or another. My dream revealed a ceremony where all of the libraries in the Phoenix metropolitan area closed their doors- permanently. With no funds, the doors had to close. In one rising crescendo, a bell chimed off in the distance. All the library branch managers stood at attention with large golden keys in hand. Upon the twelfth gong, all keys turned and the doors were closed for good.  Sound pretty far-fetched? Not so. My dream is a reality for some communities. A tragic reality!

Less than one year ago, in the affluent Troy, MI community, boasting top schools, pine trees, large homes and spacious front and backyards, this dream was the community’s worst nightmare. When voters chose not to pass the required millage proposal, all of the libraries in this Northeastern Detroit suburb shut their doors — for good. What a travesty to not be able to visit your local library and select a book, or even wait two or three days for your request to be filled, transferred from another location and be placed on the shelf with your name, awaiting your pickup.

Learning of these closings from relatives who live in Troy, brought the loss very close to home. I thought of the many wonderful experiences my own (now adult) children had with family visits to the public library and how they have passed that love to their children. As grandparents, my husband and I enjoy the story hours, puppet shows and simple visits where we can plop on a soft cusion and read a book to our grandkids! It doesn’t get much better that! 

Kudos to those who make our libraries such a vital part of our communities and extra cheers sent to the teenagers who are leaders through their service and who make a difference.  Please read about the great work our kids are doing for our Phoenix area public libraries in the May Community blog of Raising Arizona Kids magazine at  http://rakcommunity.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/teen-library-volunteers/.

Do you know of other kids who are making a difference in their community because of their service leadership?

A simple equation. We all want the next generation to be civic-minded, learn about democracy, and make good decisions that will affect the future of our country – and, our planet.  During election time, schools offer the “Kids Voting USA” curriculum (www.kidsvotingusa.org) to help students in grade K – 12 become informed about the greatest liberty of all – the right to vote. Parents help in this area by engaging their children in dialogue and conversation that foster understanding about candidates, political parties and various issues on the ballots. This conversation also builds valuable critical thinking skills, encouraging kids to learn to make decisions based upon information and asking questions. This is what we all understand about this important topic of  CITIZENSHIP.  This trait is another strong pillar in our pursuit of CHARACTER EDUCATION elements taught in most schools throughout the country.

Other elements of good CITIZENSHIP include:  taking care of one’s community; obeying laws and rules; respecting authority; and, protecting the environment.  Parents help their children to understand these elements each and every day, from not littering on the street, to following traffic signs, to encouraging children to listen to their teachers and do what is expected each day at school. Many families practice environmental protection through recycling, water conservation and gardening. 

However, there is one last component of CITIZENSHIP that often gets left out of the equation: CITIZENSHIP + SERVICE = LEADERSHIP.  By offering service, students learn to become leaders. Leadership reinforces a strong sense of what it means to be a good citizen.  I wrote an article, “Lemon Aid in the Shade,” for Raising Arizona Kids magazine (www.raisingarizonakids.com) that appeared in the September 2010 issue.  It was a story about two neighbors, elementary-aged children, who decided to raise money to help a local animal shelter. They picked lemons and made lemonade. With the help of their mothers, they baked chocolate chip cookies. This entire tasty combination soon went public! After building a stand out of cardboard boxes, they parked their newly-formed business near a local golf course. Needless to say, they earned a neat and tidy sum for the animal shelter. This is service learning in action and this is what builds leaders who have the potential to direct this great country in which we are privileged to live.

Have you or your children every been involved in a community or civic project that helped to teach service and leadership?  Do you think this is important? What suggestions do you have for other parents/grandparents/guardians to build civic pride and participation?

The power of the words we choose can radically alter our message and our effect upon others.  If the others are children, our words and message takes an even more sensitive turn. Why?  The answer lies in the  intuitive makeup and unaltered antennae of the children themselves. They haven’t developed filters that change or otherwise pollute the effects and impact of politically correct verbiage. They speak what they see and what is true to to them, not what sounds expedient, polite or benign. Our verbal expressoin to children needs to be delivered concretely as well as with awareness of our unspoken feelings that accompany the words.

A friend and teacher colleague recently sent me a U-Tube video at   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hzgzim5m7oU  that I hope you will watch  The video speaks to the value of our words, what they express and how they reflect our perspective. Interestingly, it is precisely that perspective that we deliver/portray that ultimately affects others – perhaps in ways that we might never have imagined.  At some level we all know this truth. Today, however, I offer the challenge to take action upon this truth. By simply having an awareness of how your words are perceived, you can make a difference. 

When we speak to children, we speak volumes by our attitudes and by the exactness of expression that we deliver. Do you think of this when you interact with your child(ren)?  How clearly we would speak if we only retained this childlike quality all the days of our lives!  However, that doesn’t happen.  We grow, we are exposed to life and learn from our experiences – including those that cause us regret, remorse and pain. All good. However, life experience does not only change our words, it changes the feelings behind the words.

Are you willing to consider how you deliver your words, your expressions? Can such an action make a difference even in this time-pressed and demanding world that consumes us daily?  Can we make a difference by our words? Have you done so – either with children or without?